I’m not a person who talks about religion.
I’ve always sort of been the person on the outside of everything…I have a lot of beliefs, but there is also a lot of grey area. Stuff I am unsure about, unanswered questions, things of that nature.
Recently I have become more interested in religion and spirituality, and it may be borne from the despair I and my family have been experiencing. I don’t know how to pray, but I try. Or maybe I just talk…I talk at God and hope He’s listening.
I want a place to belong. I need community.
So I think I’d like to join a church.
But in the same breath I’m scared. Scared that my personal beliefs won’t mesh with others, scared that my questions are stupid or trite, scared that I won’t be accepted for me.
See, I already sound dumb, because I know everyone is going to say not to worry, churches and the people who belong to them will always accept you for you. I hear that, I do, but it doesn’t stop me from being scared.
I need something more in my life. And maybe it’s God.
So, what now?